test.

God is testing me. In order to move into the next stage of my life, He is testing me. He is testing my patience, my ability to learn and absorb, to apply His teachings to my life, and to stand strong in my belief, among other things. If he was not testing me, how else can I account for the proliferation of the things that are now tempting me in ways that I must resist. How can I disregard my own strength in morality when I'm constantly plagued with an environment that is defined by such easy immorality or relaxed morality (whatever way you want to define it). The situation I am in now is puzzling. Even if it were not against the law, even though it is, I find it very difficult to find the blessing that exists in that. The happiness that exists in those things is temporary, it's in passing. It isn't real. Most importantly, it isn't lasting. True bliss is in what happens organically to us. Love walks in and fulfills that desire. No drug can replace that feeling. I guess because I had the awakening of sorts in regards to what is really important, to me at least, in life - being surrounded by those whose purpose is defined by their theatrical resume, they can't relate to my desire to accomplish something within me. For there to be integrity, fortitude, grace and love inside of me and everything I do - that is what defines me. I know. You know. God knows. That is what matters.

Side note: blogging from your iPhone is difficult.