tribute to dean.

i was just thinking about dean martin today. and what he has meant to me over the past three years or so. opportunity has happened because of dean. what he means to people, even still about 16 years after his death. there's an ease, a comfort. even watching on youtube, i feel welcomed into dean's "home" each time he sits and talks, or sings. that's such a genuine thing. no one will ever replicate that.

everybody loves somebody sometime.

give more.

Spend less. Give more. It doesn't have to mean spend nothing. But what if we took some energy that we spend on the things that maybe don't really mean anything, and put it elsewhere - elsewhere into something that means something. I was reading an article online, as I often do, and that article said that this year Americans spent over $450 BILLION on Christmas this year... food, presents, decorations, travel... 450 BILLION DOLLARS. What if even a fraction 1 whatever-th of that number was not spent on a dummy desk clock, or a subscription to Bieber Fever Magazine... that money, that effort could be put towards something for someone who really needs something. A backpack for a child in India. Food for a family in Africa. A prom dress for an orphaned 16 year old that lives closer to you than the McDonald's down the street.

But even if that movement were to gain so much traction that it spread like wildfire, there's always going to be some uneasiness. When you mess with something that is so hallowed by the mass populous, you're bound to be met with some resistance. Girls, I would think, dream of their wedding day forever. And it starts when they are children. Now of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but I think that - as a generalization - this is true for most girls. Men are instinctively... well, men. I think that a man is defined by one who provides, takes care of his own, and does what is asked of him and then some, without question or pause. That is a real man. And, yes, while being a father or a husband has never been on the top of my priority list - there is a part of me that yearns to be able to deny my son that red toy BB gun, because... well... he'll shoot his eye out. Only to see his face when he unwraps it from it's packaging on Christmas day. And I don't want to mess with that.

"We make a living by what we get. We make a life through what we give." - Winston Churchill. And it's not just what we give, but how we give. As I reflect on Christmas, I find it funny that we put so much emphasis on material gifts that we can give. But when I look back on Christmases of the past, I think of the relational gifts I've received that I cherish the most. And maybe those relational gifts didn't necessarily come ON Christmas. But the day I received that relationship, the day that I gave myself into that relationship - THAT was Christmas to me. When a 3rd grade class in a Washington DC public school wrote letters to me (well, to "Michael Jackson"...) - I felt so touched by the thought put into those letters from those children. Now whenever I come across those letters in my file folder, I remember that day. I remember it with fondness. When I work an event, and I get to hear from the audience that they enjoyed the performance. Going back to Christmas, it's the memories of a happy time that are my favorite Christmas gifts. Not the iPod, or shoes, or wood burning kit (you'll have to really know me in order to understand the relevance of a wood burning kit as a Christmas present).

Christmas is over. So in hindsight (my favorite kind of sight), I consider these two principles for the future. First, give your presence. The people in your life need you more than they need the stuff that you can give them. BE present as your gift to your loved ones, as your gift to the world. More stuff won't heal our wounds, won't lift our spirits (more than temporarily), won't keep us from beating each other up, won't keep us from killing our planet and each other, won't keep us from ruining our relationships. In a world with 10 billion people, where we are all simply a governmental number... we're no longer people. We're a Twitter account. We're a Facebook status. We are a text message. These things don't replace flesh and blood interaction. They don't replace the genuine sound of the voice. 

I was inspired by this woman at one of my shows at an assisted living residence. She, a younger woman, came into the room with a gentleman, also younger, and sat in the back just as I was singing "Go Away Little Girl" (which, coincidentally is one of my favorite songs to sing - so I was glad they came in at that moment)... It turned out her grandmother was in the room with me that afternoon. To make a long story short, she was there to give her grandmother her Christmas present... The young woman asked me if she could use the microphone and announced to her grandmother. "Grandma, this Christmas I wanted to do something special for you... I know it's sort of a tradition for me to buy you one of your favorite sweaters from Sears every Christmas. This year I want to break tradition. This year, I regret to inform you, I did not buy you a sweater. Instead, I made you this coupon book... and anytime you are bored, or lonely, or want to chat, or maybe even have me stop by, just use one of these coupons. They never expire, and you can use each one as many times as you like. And next year, I'll get you another sweater." I don't think grandma will ever care if she gets another sweater again.

Partners, lovers, husbands, boyfriends... your woman doesn't need the perfect gift. She needs you. Parents, your children don't need a new video game. They need your attention, your devotion. Parents with teenagers, your children need your attention even more. Friends, you don't need to go to the bar to talk. Take a walk and talk. Give your presence as your presents.

Be personal. Intentional. A personal gift shows forethought. It makes the gift more meaningful. No, not every gift can reflect some WOW factor. But some can reflect deeply. Deeply upon you, upon your compassion for the person with whom you are bestowing the gift. Among the 450 BILLION DOLLARS that were spent on gifts this year - a year from now, I wonder how many of those gifts you'll remember this time next year. I know I can't remember what I got for Christmas last year.... save for a few DVDs that were very special to me as a child. And those touched a part of me that has stayed with me forever. So I remember them. Oh, and I also got socks... but I get those every year.

Spend less. Give more. Make it mutual. So come together and MAKE. Make something. Make a memory. They don't sell those in stores.

It's all for love. L.O.V.E.

tonight.

the darkest sadness
no peace, no worth.
most desperate madness.
so lost on earth

have mercy,
for the meek and the mild
remember the truth,
as pure as a child.

redemption
sweet and strong.
just like the words
you write in a song.

this grace is real
you must not deny.
no faith, in fear,
i hope again, it is not a lie.

just a thought.

If you find you're a couch potato -- and I have gone through those moments in my life where I have said to myself, "Gosh, I don't want to get up off of this couch... I'm enjoying these chips too much." -- you have put one foot in front of the other. You have to find something that excites you... and then go there. But, what will happen invariably is that you're going to hit a wall. It's unavoidable. It happens to marathon runners, it happens to anyone who has some sort of exciting idea, or is experiencing that first burst of energy into this new project. The work kicks in and you say to yourself, "You know, this isn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be." If you can mentally prepare yourself for that wall... because it will be there... and you fight through that wall - then you've accomplished something. You'll feel your self esteem grow because you did it. You accomplished it. And suddenly you'll realize that those potato chips don't taste so good. Let's forget the couch and let's go do something.

one foot in heaven.

i feel

sometimes

most times

that i've got

one foot in heaven

i feel

sometimes

one time

i could have had

both feet in heaven

i feel

sometimes

this time

i'll find the ground,

when i find heaven.

life.

if i don't read the paper and don't turn on the news
i know that when i go outside, the sky will still be blue
though i'm running on empty, i've got a glass that's half full
no, it's not been easy, but i'm doing okay
i have to break up this silence, 'cause there's one thing i've got to say
i've been counting my blessings, still been thinking about you.

it's just something about life, it's something inside me
i know i can count on it to guide me
and that each day, come what may, the sun still will shine
it's the something of life, when the world keeps on turning
you look in my eyes, that fire's still burning
and don't you worry, i think of you only, and hope you're alright
in this something called life.

i may never have a house, where i'm living is fine.
if i stay in my car, at least i'll know that it's mine.
true, we're weathering this storm, do what we're meant to do.
while you're everything i need, i'm living life still in awe
we can both live our dreams, still have it all
somehow i'll get to sleep, though i'm still thinking of you.

it's just something about life, it's something inside me
i know i can count on it to guide me
and that each day, come what may, the sun still will shine
it's the something of life, when the world keeps on turning
you look in my eyes, that fire's still burning
and don't you worry, i think of you only, i hope you're alright
in this something called life.

flame vision.

see the world with flame vision.
trade highs and lows
for consistent warmth.
show that you care,
because of empathy.
it exists.
you just have to see it.